There's Something Very Nasty in the Yard. (For a bulldog)

There's something very nasty in the middle of the yard
I can see it as I peer around the door.
I suppose I should be running out to savage it to death
But I don't know what it is or what it's for.!
It has lots of yellow tentacles and bits of metal too,
I wonder if it comes from outer space?
I have tried it with a bark or two, and quite aa fearsome growl,
But it never even looked me in the face.
I think I'll go and speak to Podge who's sleeping in the hall,
If any danger threatens she's the one!
And as soon as I mentioned "There's a monster in the Yard"
She shot out like a bullet from a gun!
She got hold of the metal bits and banged them up and down
Then grabbed the tentacles with all her teeth
By the time she'd bashed it on the gate and slammed it on the gate
She was tangled in its clutches underneath.
I was thinking of a rescue...... when mum came into the yard
To see what all the growling was about,
And after extracting Podge from underneath, she said
It was a 'hoist' to hang the washing out.
She was talking to out neighbour a little later on
And said if burglars came that would be fine
As Podge would tear them limb from limb, always supposing that
They were carrying a Hill's Hoist washing line!

 

The Chase (For a Scottish Deer hound Puppy)

Bravely he chases the hideous foe
Without thought of personal danger.
All through the forest and all through the hills
He's better than any Lone Ranger,
His legs move like pistons, his eyes flash with fire,
His eyebrows fly out on the breeze
The sight of this Nemesis hot on their trail
Would bring villains down to their knees,
But the forest and hills are only the grass
And the torrent he crossed was a puddle!
He's only a puppy and sometimes inclined
To get in a bit of a muddle.
But the foe was quite real and dangerous too
And he tackled it with might and main.
The corpse lies in pieces, another black beetle
Has bitten the dust once again.

On the Small Side (for a Min. Pin)

The people I never can really abide
Are those that remark I am "On the small side".
I am healthy and active not flabby and slow
And good things often come in small parcels you know.
When the postman and Milkman come round in the morning
Whatever the hour I'm never found yawning,
And the fuss that I make when they knock on the door
Sounds like a dozen man eating Lions, or more!
I know of huge dogs with teeth that could tear
Who spend all their time snoring in the arm chair,
But no creeping burglar would ever pass me
He'd be hauled off to jail with a badly bit knee!
My owners think I am a pearl beyond price
So to be 'on the small side' can be very NICE!

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