Every Dog Has His Day (For 2 Bulldogs)

I like the beach when the weather is fine
It is quite near to us we could go every day.
There are lots of things going on down by the sea
Which I really enjoy in my rollicking way.
We can bark at the waves, we can chase all the gulls,
We can sit next to mum for a snooze on the sand,
But one day I had a small devil in me
So I whispered to Em, and we got out of hand!
We jumped in the puddles and splashed all the crowds,
We trampled on sandcastles , pinched a mans vest,
Knocked over bottles and grabbed bather's towels,
And punctured a ball (that was really the best!!)
I have never seen mum wearing such a red face
As she said to a man "They're just puppies you know"
He replied "Well they don't look like puppies to ME!"
(He was pulling his vest and I wouldn't let go!)
Mum bundled us both in the car to go home
And called us peculiar names constantly,
But Em and I had a good laugh to ourselves
We really enjoyed that day out by the sea!

The Steeplechase (For a Peke)

I was having some puppies, just two days to go
And fed up. You know what I mean?,
And suddenly I got this idea in my head
That I needed a different scene.
I got over the wall and went out in the wood
And scampered and scuttled about
'Til mum went and missed me all of a sudden
She started to holler and shout.
She said to the workmen "Have you seen a Peke?
Long coated and not very tall?"
And one of them said they had seen a small dog
Go sailing right over the wall.
"But that wall is five feet" says mum in a tizz
"She couldn't have jumped over that
Because she is pregnant and due any day
And of course she is getting quite fat".
Mum found me at last, and picking me up
She carried me safely inside.
To be honest I as getting quite puffed
And could do with a bit of a ride.
When the puppies arrived there was only one.
Mum said "That's my Boy" was his name
But I think "The Chaser" would suit him quite well
Because of my wall jumping fame,
And when he is older, a bit more mature,
And the finest Peke that one could see
He'll amaze all those horses on Grand National Day
By sailing  over the sticks just like me!

A Well Trained Dog (For a bull dog)

Mum took me to a training club, thought it would do me good.
It never did a thing for me, I never thought it would.
However, I did try my best though I am rather thick
She marched me straight into the hall where I was promptly sick.
Mum got red and flustered and she said that it was 'stress'
While everyone was gazing down at me and at the mess.
Someone else came running up with a bucket and a spade
To gather up the pile of dinner that I had neatly laid.
Mum walked me round and round the ring, I was enjoying it
Until some silly person in the middle shouted "Sit"!
All the dogs sat quietly down upon the polished floor
But I went on and trampled down the dog that sat next door.
The little dachshund didn't seem to mind it in the least,
But its owner said I was a "nasty, vicious, BEAST".
Mum got me sitting down at last by leaning on my bum
And then she kept on shouting "Heel" (she is a funny one)
I don't know where  that "heel" was, although I looked to see.
Mum calls me Boz, or Bozzie, so I knew it wasn't ME.
I thought she wanted me to sit, and I was nicely SAT,
As far as I was bothered, that was the end of that.
She pulled and tugged upon my lead, enough to make you weep,
So I gave up and settled down to have a welcome sleep.
Mum took me to the training club, thought it would do me good,
We never, ever went again.......... I never thought we would.

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