I am Tall. ( To A Great Dane)
I am tall, I am tall, we know that I am tall
As a fact, it's a fact, doesn't matter at all.
Trouble is, in the car, I'm telling the truth
When I sit on the seat my head bangs on the roof!
It's a bit disconcerting for people who're older
To find my huge head leaning over their shoulder.
If I try to curl up to get out of the way
My legs get all tangled however I lay.
I once stuck my head out of the window to bark
When my master was driving quite close to the
park.
Three people fainted away on the ground
While four pekes had fits at the terrible sound!
Five horses bolted and fled through the trees
And a gaggle of clergymen fell to their knees,
As their bones hit the grass with a horrible
thump!
I imagined they thought they had heard the Last
TRUMP!
Dogs are Lethal.(For the anti-dog brigade)
People say that our dogs are
a source of infection.
They say they are lethal and ought
to be banned.
For dogs spread diseases like Anthrax
and Measles
And Bubonic Plague that will cover
the land.
Dogs spread Hepatitis, Small-Pox
and Bronchitis,
Megalomania, Beri-beri and Neuritis
too.
If you keep falling down with a
thump on the ground
Its the vertigo your dog has passed
on to you!
Wrap yourself up in plastic and
scour all the pots!
Stuff your face in a gas mask left
over from World ar 2!
For dogs cause phlebitis, Fowl
Pest and Arthritis
They will block your Aorta and
turn your face blue!
Dogs have Brucillosis and lots
of psychosis
They cause Galloping Palsies and
Rheumatic Gout,
They have round worms, and square
worms, Tape worms and Gape Worms,
And any old worms you see lying
about!
Boil your dog every morning and
once more at night!
Slosh strong disinfectant where
ever he goes
And if you have doubt, don't let
him breath out
Or you'll add influenza to all
of your woes.
Wear gloves with long gauntlets
whenever you pat him,
Stomp around in huge wellies that
squelch on the floor.
If you get Meningitis, Trench Foot
or Otitis,
Its probably caused by that mongrel
next door!
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