The House Dog's Grave (Haig, an English bulldog)

          I've changed my ways a little; I cannot now
          Run with you in the evenings along the shore,
          Except in a kind of dream; and you, if you dream a moment,
          You see me there.
          So leave awhile the paw-marks on the front door
          Where I used to scratch to go out or in,
          And you'd soon open; leave on the kitchen floor
          The marks of my drinking-pan.
          I cannot lie by your fire as I used to do
          On the warm stone,
          Nor at the foot of your bed; no, all the night through
          I lie alone.
          But your kind thought has laid me less than six feet
          Outside your window where firelight so often plays,
          And where you sit to read--and I fear often grieving for me--
          Every night your lamplight lies on my place.
          You, man and woman, live so long, it is hard
          To think of you ever dying
          A little dog would get tired, living so long.
          I hope than when you are lying
          Under the ground like me your lives will appear
          As good and joyful as mine.
          No, dear, that's too much hope: you are not so well cared for
          As I have been.
          And never have known the passionate undivided
          Fidelities that I knew.
          Your minds are perhaps too active, too many-sided. . . .
          But to me you were true.
          You were never masters, but friends. I was your friend.
          I loved you well, and was loved. Deep love endures
          To the end and far past the end. If this is my end,
          I am not lonely. I am not afraid. I am still yours.

Robinson Jeffers, 1941

... if he wakes in Your arms...

by R. A. Spreeman

I can hardly see through my tears... today I sent my best friend of years
and years somewhere he had to go, where pain and sickness he won't have to know.
He's been with me ever since he was a pup... today I've had to give him up.
He was sick, we both knew it and I wouldn't put him through it.

Thinking back to the day my wife brought him, I told her then that I didn't want him...
"Noise and mess and bills to pay!" - I can't believe I felt that way.
Didn't know that in the end, he would be my dearest friend.
Didn't know that he would be the greatest gift that came to me.

How did one like me deserve a friend who wanted just to serve?
What was there that made him love me, with nobody else above me?
When I looked into his eyes, never did he criticize,
never did he hold a grudge, never did he try to judge.

Recently, an anxious day. "How come you don't want to play?"
Took him to the vet to see what might be wrong with my "puppy".
Worse by far than I expected, fatal illness was detected.
Nothing much that we could do but keep him comfy til he's through.

Back at home I tried to tell him of the bad luck that befell him
All I could see in his eyes was wondering why his master cries.
I don't think he understood - his eyes just asked "Wasn't I good?"
"How come now I make you sad? Let me kiss and hug you, dad!"

Two last weeks I had to try to find a way to say goodbye.
In that time I told him more than I ever had before
just how much I loved my pup, how it hurt to give him up.
How though gone, he'd always be inside my heart, a part of me.

Then today was no mistaking, I made the decision, my heart was breaking.
I called and asked the vet to come by - I didn't have to tell him why.
He arrived in awhile and asked "Are you ready?" I sighed, I nodded, I felt so unsteady.
Got down on the floor by my boy who was dying, and I just didn't care if the vet saw me crying.

As my pup slipped away, the last things he felt were the kisses and hugs of his master who knelt
On that "blankie" beside him to bid him goodbye, who had just one more
minute to tell him, to try
to say thanks to his boy for a lifetime of love.... "Dear God, let me see him in heaven above!
But for now Lord, please hold him, watch over his rest... if he wakes in Your arms tell him I love him best."

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