All you do is look up dogs on the Internet.
Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.
The trash basket is more or less permanently installed
in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.
You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield
because there are nose prints all over the inside.
Your dog sleeps with you.
You have 32 different names for your dog. Most
make no sense, but they understand.
You like people who like your dog. You despise
people who don't.
You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket
at all times.
You talk about your dog the way other people talk
about their kids.
You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas
cards from your dog.
You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog
can be comfortable.
You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle
your dog than go to the movies with your friends.
You go to the pet supply store every Saturday
because it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside,
and your dog loves to go with you.
You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies
you use for pick-ups pops out.
You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage
just so you can use it to wash your dog in the tub, without making the
dog sit hip-deep in water.
You and the dog come down with something like
flu on the same day. Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter
remedy from the drugstore.
Your license plate or license plate frame mentions
your dog.
You have your dog's picture on your office desk
(but no one else's).
You lecture people on responsible dog ownership
every chance you get.
You hang around the dog section of your local
bookstore.
You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in
the morning before work.
You are the only idiot walking in the pouring
rain because your dog needs its walk.
Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.
Your weekend activities are planned around taking
your dog for a hike (both days).
You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor
bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night (after all, her other dish
is way down on the first floor...).
Your freezer contains more dog bones than anything
else.
You never completely finish a piece of steak or
chicken (so your dog gets a taste, too).
You shovel a zig-zag path in the back yard snow
so your dog can reach all its favorite spots.
You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible
because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
You make popcorn just to play catch with your
dog.
You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet
instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone
else remotely human.
And the number one reason you know you're a dog
person: Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site.