JACKSON - IN HIS OWN WRITE

(Tune: Popeye the Sailor Man)
I'm Jackson, a pup non pareil
Lie down and I'll pee in your eye
And if you're not known
Better bring me a bone
Or kiss your left buttock bye-bye!
I'm Jackson the Hewitt canine
Their pedigree's shorter than mine
And while He'd to wed,
just to get Her to bed,
They'll pay for my seed all the time
I'm Jackson, I'm from the South-West
And I've seen my Mistress undressed!
While some dogs may differ,
I like to whiff her
In front, that's the smell I like best.
I'm Jackson, a regular dog,
With a Master who drinks like a hog.
By His fifteenth cold beer,
He is flat on his rear
On the couch, like a very large log.
I'm Jackson, and I am a male
From my nose to my twitchable tail
Please find me a bitch,
'Cos my balls sometimes itch,
And humping His knee's growing stale.
I'm Jackson, a huggable hound
Throw a stick and I'll run round and round
And you may take it back,
(if your nerve doesn't crack),
From my mouth, (just ignore the grr sound).
I'm Jackson, a lovable pup
And I really enjoy chewing up
My Master's best slipper
Which tastes like a kipper
Or my Ms's thirty-something B cup!
Sent in by Frank Stirling

Perfect Puppy

By Nancy Holmes

If you require a puppy
That isn't noisy and doesn't chew,
Who won't pee on the carpet, or one who
Will never shed or make a mess,
And Will never bite under severe duress,
There's only one breed that will bring you joy,
It's the All-American Plush Stuffed Toy!


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