I looked at all the caged animals in the shelter... the cast-offs
of human society.
I saw in their eyes love and hope, fear and dread, sadness and betrayal.
And I was angry.
God, "I said, `this is terrible! Why don't you do something?"
God was silent for a moment and then He spoke softly.
"I have done something," He replied.
"I created You."
Copyright Jim Willis 1999
You have rust rings on your kitchen counters from putting the trashcans
up there.
You regularly clean out 50 tennis balls from under the couch.
All of your trashcans are bungy-corded.
Your gate is bungy-corded to prevent your labby from popping the latch
again.
You have a BIG supply of bungy cords for all lab occasions.
Every piece of clothing you own, the sofa, the bed, and anything soft
has lab fur all over it.
You have a plastic kiddy wading pool in your backyard.
You regularly find big paw prints on your kitchen counters.
Every squeaky and fleece toy are missing their squeakers and stuffing.
You have broken or mangled at least one finger (or torn a rotator cuff)
on a leash walk when your labby spotted "prey" he wanted to chase.
You have to buy a bigger bed to accommodate the new lab.
You have to buy an extra pillow to accommodate the new lab.
You buy an SUV to take your lab and his labby friends for frequent
trips to the lake/river/ocean.
Your backyard looks similar to an archaelogical dig, complete with
the dinosaur bones.
Your floor is covered with dog drool and/or pools of water from sloppy
drinking labs.
You buy pizza so you can give the crusts to your lab.
You wait til the last minute to get dressed for work to avoid your
lab's muddy paw prints, drool and fur (or you put on an old overcoat to
stay clean as you say good-bye).
You have every land and water retrieval toy known to man (and lab).
Your yard is full of brightly colored Frisbee pieces.
You buy underwear more often than the average person to replace what
your labby has eaten.
Your children NEVER have dirty mouths and faces.
Your lips are constantly chapped from labby kisses.
You can never find a full set of shoes, because your labby has moved
them all over the house.
You have doggie beds covering the floor instead of area rugs.
Your end tables are really crates covered with couch throws.
You have to keep an extra keyboard for your computer around because
labby drool clogs the keys.
You clean out your fish pond for the season, and the first thing you
dredge up is a black kong dropped there during last year's lab party!!!
You never have to mop your kitchen floor because your labbies clean
up every spill and crumb before you can get to it.
Every time you take a shower, your labby joins you!
You can never throw anything away, because your labby RETRIEVES it.
Your car is covered with sheets, lab fur, lab drool, and there is often
a distinct aroma of "wet labby" that those car air fresheners can't disguise!
Your alarm clock is a firm nudge by a wet labby nose (who wants to
eat first and go out later!)
Your mailbox is overflowing with dog catalogs and the UPS man knows
your house from bringing all the boxes of dog goodies ordered from the
catalogs!
You regularly find your labby's "hidden treasures" buried under the
sofa cushions, bed pillows, the couch, and behind the TV!
You have a child proof lock on your fridge because not only can your
Lab open it, but takes the best leftovers for himself!
You have permanent bruises on your legs at exactly the height of your
lab's tail!
Your husband and you sit on the floor to watch TV because one Lab is
sprawled out full length on the couch, and one Lab is sitting in the recliner!
You are the only people who stand outside in -35 degree weather to
throw a dummy for a dummy obsessed Lab with snow up to your butt!
You are the only person who has dummies in their dish drainer with
clean dishes!
Your furniture is the latest fashion statement in sheets and dog hair!
You don't even think about throwing away that favorite toy that they
have destroyed while they are looking unless you are prepared for the "staredown"!
You put all of your shoes, remote controls, hats, gloves and anything
else small in closets or on shelves to hide them from "Jaws!"
You specifically buy baby carrots at the store for your new favorite
snack and his too!
It is a cold January day, and you have the sunroof to your car open
so your Lab can stick his head out through the roof to catch the air!
You give him his bag of new toys in the car on the way home from the
pet store, and all he wants is the crumbs from the biscuits given to him
by the cashier!"
At least one load of laundry a week is your lab's: his blankets, pillow
cases, towels, and of course, all those muddy, drooled on fleece toys he
loves so much!
Your Christmas tree had an "ornament-free wag zone."
You regularly clean his tennis balls in your dish washer.