My dog can't seem to understand,
a five foot lead was only planned
to stretch five feet and nothing more,
so now my left hand trails the floor.
We then departed from conformity
to counteract this odd deformity.
We both decided that it might,
be best to lead me from the right.
This story has a happy sequel
for now my arms in length are equal.
That's not a chimpanzee you see
led by a dog - it's me.
A little stuffed bear was called Teddy
When asked was he ready, then said he,
"Like a scout I'm prepared
And I never run scared,
Yes, indeed, I am ready for Freddy."
Now Freddy, the dog, liked to play
To and fro he shook Teddy each day
But it took but a trace
Of mace in the face,
For Freddy his distance to stay.
Shelby Forrest
The poodle to the mongrel said,
"It seems that you are not well bred,
For I perceive that you have fleas
And do rude things on posts and trees."
The mongrel answered, "I concur
That I am just a common cur,
I do I know, have many fleas
And cock my leg just where I please."
"Now your breeding I agree
Is plain for everyone to see.
Perhaps indeed you use a loo
The way your human owners do."
"Yet you look an awful mutt
With your hair so strangely cut,
Could well be taken for a mop,
With that coffuire that you' ve got."
"I hate your ribbons and your bows,
The polished nails upon your toes.
I'm sure that dogs were never meant
To reek of powder and of scent,
I wouldn't swap a single flea
For any of your luxury."
He cocked his leg agains't the fence,
Sniffed and growled in high offence.
Barked loudly once to say, "I'm boss"
Then scratched his fleas and scampered off.