Cairndeer

Although some think their Cairns are dear,
And often beg their pardon,
Wise Cairnophiles who flowers grow
Won't let them in their garden.
We build huge walls around our plots
To keep out deer and others,
The tiny dears we breed and show
Have ever-hungry druthers.
They'll eat our bulbs, our orchids, too,
They'll munch and crunch our walnuts
On hellebores they're hell, indeed,
For irises they're all nuts.
So walk your doggies in the park
And walk them round the lake
But never walk them near your rose.
That's quite a huge mistake.
For though they think a flower's food
On which they can depend;
We've learned to fear the outcome
When it comes out the end.

---

Talisman, the Omnivore or The Dog That Ate Detroit

A pup will eat most anything,
On anything he'll sup,
On plums: the skin, the pulp, the pits,
On popcorn by the cup.
While humans treasure carpeting,
And love their wall-to-wall,
A pup will have some different views,
And try to eat it all.
A sofa isn't safe from him,
Nor is a book on sex;
He'll eat your comb, he'll eat your socks,
And my pup ate my specs.
He dotes on cat food by the ton
And fine Italian purses
And if you gave him half a chance,
He'd even eat these verses.
They say that goats are omnivores:
"I came, I saw, I dined."
But they're not much compared to Cairns,
Especially one of mine.

---

A Cairn for Christmas

Although Cairns are not just for Christmas, as we all know,
Being equally suited for the Fourth of July, firecracker dogs,
(Or the Fifth of July or the Third or Halloween or any
Other day not usually associated with mistletoe),
The point is that Cairns are great the whole year 'round,
Whether they're helping you cut down a Christmas tree,
Winding their leashes eight times around your legs,
Or pulling up irises as fast as you can put them in the ground.
Children are not just for Christmas, either, although they make it chime,
Their eyes sparkle with delight at The Tree! The Ornaments!
The Presents! The Turkey! Santa Claus! The Infant in the Manger!
Like Cairns, they're Existentialists, and now's their fav'rite time.
And when your children have grown up and left, to follow their own star,
Though kids and Cairns are not alike (A kid will break an ornament, a Cairn
will try to eat it)
A bouncy Cairn at Christmas time will remind you of their innocence and joy,
And help you think of Christmas past, of family near and far.

---

  Go to more poems