SHOW DAY

                I'm a German Shepherd puppy,
                  Just starting my career.
                    I find it very funny,
                  The things I see and hear.
                  The rings are just gigantic,
                    As far as I can see.
                   I get to run my fastest,
                    At speeds over 103.
                   I often look behind me,
                  My handler is tiring fast.
                 Sometimes it looks doubtful,
                  If the poor soul will last.
                It must be hard for handlers,
                    To run at such a pace.
                    I find it very funny,
                   To see their red face.
                 The judge has now said halt,
                   Darn good thing I think.
                 My handler is getting sweaty,
                   He's giving off a stink!
               Oh no, here comes the awful part
                What I go through to be a star.
                   Hey wait just a minute,
                My legs don't stretch that far.
                 My handler grabs my mouth,
                  Yanks it open for all to see.
                 The judge is counting teeth,
                   Didn't nobody ask me!
                   Oh look, I see my Mom,
                 She's jumping up and down.
                  The judge looked at Mom,
                 With a very horrible frown.
                Now we're running round again,
                  The judge has yelled slow.
                  My Mom called my name,
                  But now where did she go.
                  I run my little heart out,
                  Everytime I hear my name.
                  But every time I get there,
                 She's gone and moved again.
                The judge has made his choices.
                  Hurray, he pointed to me.
                Can I please have my rosette,
                  I have to go out and pee.
                   The show is now all over.
                    I really did my best.
               My handler is going home, he said,
                   He really needs a rest.
                 The rosette is on the mantle.
                   My head's on Mom's lap
                I know I made her happy to-day,
                 Now I'm going to take a nap.
                      Carol Kufner

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THE JUDGE

                       A judge's life
                     Is the life for me,
                     Picking the winners,
                      One, two, three.
                 Flying here and flying there,
                I'll fly first class everywhere.
               The best of food, the finest rooms,
              Wealth and fame, overhead it looms.
                   I'll make new friends,
                       By the score
                   They'll all come running
                   When I'm on the floor.
                  The compliments will come,
                      One, two, three.
                     I'll be so popular.
                        Lucky Me!
                    May I get you a pop?
                    May I open the door?
                   Would you like my seat?
                Would you like anything more?"
                      A judge's life,
                       Is it for me?
                    Withold the ribbons
                   On one, two and three.
                  The plane has a propeller.
                     The pilot is blind.
                   I don't see first class.
                    I'm losing my mind.
                  Thank goodness we landed!
                   Now, where is my room?
                  Over there in the closet,
                  Right next to the broom?
                     I'm very hungry.
                    I'm getting thinner.
                    Here comes supper.
                    Yuk! It's a TV dinner!
                    We're at the show.
                  Now for wealth and fame.
                   The show went broke.
                 Hey you, what's your name?
                     Get your own pop.
                     Get your own door.
                     You're the dummy.
                  Dumped my dog before!"
                There's more to being a judge
                   Than at first I thought.
                  Perhaps I'll think it over,
                  Return the suit I bought.
                  I don't know how you do it.
                   I don't know how at all.
                  You must be damned crazy
                    To be a judge, at all!                         Carol Kufner

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