1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

2. Blaming your farts on me... not funny.

3. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt?)

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it.

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my ass on your carpet. Why'd you buy carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet... idiot.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.

11. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your shit up when you're not home.

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

13. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogdom hasn't yet solved the visible fence problem!!

author unknown

A MESSAGE FROM MAX:

My name is Max and I have a little something I'd like to Whisper in your ear.
I know that you humans lead busy lives. Some have to work, Some have children to raise.

It always seems like you are running here and there, often much to fast, often never noticing the truly grand things in life.

Look down at me now, while you sit there at your computer.
See the way my dark brown eyes look at yours?
They are slightly cloudy now. That comes with age.
The gray hairs are beginning to ring my soft muzzle. You smile at me; I see love in your eyes.
What do you see in mine?

Do you see a spirit, a soul inside who loves you as no other could in the world?
A spirit that would forgive all trespasses of prior wrong doing for just a simple moment of your time?

That is all I ask. To slow down if even for a few minutes to be with me. So many times you have been saddened by the words you read on that screen, of others of my kind, passing.
Sometimes we die young and oh so quickly, sometimes so suddenly it wrenches your heart out of your throat.
Sometimes we age so slowly before your eyes that you do not even seem to know, until the very end,
When we look at you with grizzled muzzles and cataract clouded eyes.
Still the love is always there, even when we take that long sleep, to run free in distant lands.

I may not be here tomorrow, I may not be here next week.
Someday you will shed the waters from your eyes, that humans have when deep grief fills their souls,
and you will be angry at yourself that you did not have just "One more day" with me.

Because I love you so, your sorrow touches my spirit and grieves me.
We have now, together, So come, sit down here next to me on the floor.
And look deep into my eyes.
What do you see?
If you look hard and deep enough we will talk, you and I, heart to heart.

Come to me not as "alpha" or as a "trainer" or even a "Mom or Dad," come to me as a living soul and stroke my fur and let us look deep into one an other's eyes, and talk.
I may tell you something about the fun of chasing a tennis ball, or I may tell you something profound
about myself, or even life in general.
You decided to have me in your life (I hope) because you wanted a soul to share just such things with.

Someone very different from you, and here I am. I am a dog, but I am alive.
I feel emotion, I feel physical senses, and I can revel in the differences of our spirits and souls.
I do not think of you as a "Dog on two feet" ---I know what you are. You are human, in all your quirkiness,
and I love you still.

Now, come sit with me, on the floor.
Enter my world, and let time slow down if even for only 15 minutes.
Look deep in my eyes, and whisper into my ears. Speak with your heart, with your joy and I will know your true self.
We may  not have tomorrow, and life is oh so very short.

Love,
Max (on behalf of all canines everywhere)

"May be reposted and shared freely as long as this
credit appears with the post given to J.D. Ellis 2001,
rottweilerdriver@aol.com