We must IMMEDIATELY get rid of our children now, because we just KNOW how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be! Since our puppy will be arriving on Monday, we MUST place the children in new homes this weekend!!!

They are described as:
One male, white, brown hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Name is David. Temperament tested. Current on all shots. Tonsils removed already and very healthy condition! David eats everything, is very clean, house trained and gets along well with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little time and training, he will do well in a new home

One male, brown hair, blue eyes. Two years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. His name is Jared. Temperament tested, but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. He is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy and happy (mostly.) Gets along well with little boys, but does not like to share toys. He is house trained, and would do best in a one child household.

We really LOVE our children, and want to do what is best for them. I hope you understand, that ours is a UNIQUE situation, and we have a real emergency here! They MUST be placed by Sunday night at the latest

2. Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner, or anything else for that matter.

3. When it's raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.

4. If it itches, you can reach it.

5. And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in public.

6. It doesn't bother you if your favorite television show is a rerun.

7. You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you're insensitive.

8. April 15th means nothing to you.

9. People at drive-through windows never charge you for treats.

10. No one thinks less of you for passing gas. Some people might actually think you're cute.

11. Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe can entertain you for hours.

12. No one gets mad if you fall asleep while they're talking.

13. As an adult, it's okay if you haven't amounted to anything.

14. The older you get, the more people respect you.

15. You can sleep late every day.

16. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.

17. You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger's lap

18. There's no such thing as bad food.

19. You don't have to worry about good table manners.

20. Someone else combs your hair.

21. People think you're normal if you stick your head out the window to feel the wind in your hair.

22. You're always excited to see the same old people.

23. Having big feet is considered an asset.

24. If you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.

25. You can spend hours just smelling stuff.

26. A garbage can is a fast-food stop.

27. No one tells you to wipe your nose because it's wet.

28. No matter where you live, you own the place.

29. Your mate never complains because you whine.

30. Puppy love can last.

31. Having a wet nose is considered a sign of good health.