Thou shalt not act half starved whenever thou watches me eat.

                     Thou shalt not lift thy leg to water the Christmas tree.

                     Thou shalt not roll in any smelley stuff thy finds in the yard.

                     Thou shalt not lie down next to me and commence making  licking and popping noises. (I know what thou art doing!).

                     Thou shalt not dig up my favorite rose bush.

                     Thou shalt not treat my shoes as if they were thy chew toy.

                     Thou shalt not drink out of the toilet.

                     Thou shalt keep thy nose out of the cat's litter box.

                     Thou shalt not WATCH the cat while she is in her litterbox
                     (she likes her privacy).

                     Thou shalt not pass gas in my presence, and then walk away as if thou has been offended by me.

                     Thou shalt not run away from home in pursuit of a good time
                     (thou has been nuetered).

                     Thou shalt refrain from coughing and gagging while we have company.

                     Thou shall not hide thy bones under my pillow.

                     Thou shalt not sniff the crotch of everyone thy encounters.

                     Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat at 2a.m.

                     Thou shalt not sneak up on me and lick me in the mouth while I am sleeping.

                     Thou shalt refrain from becoming overly affectionate with my mother-in-law's leg.

                     25. Kibble and water are cheaper than formula and nappies.

                     24. They have more hair when they are born.

                     23. Dogs never forget to "go" before they leave.

                     22. Dogs can go on long trips without yelling "MUM, HE'S TOUCHING
                     ME!!!"

                     21. Dogs never grow out of being kissed in front of their friends.

                     20. Dogs don't wear holes in the knees of their trousers.

                     19. It doesn't matter how much dog hair a Dog gets in its mouth.

                     18. You can cage a dog without going to jail.

                     17. Dogs don't "backwash" crackers when sharing your soda.

                     16. Dogs will watch classic Star Trek with you and won't laugh at the
                     special effects.

                     15. Dogs hide their "blankies" in their crates rather than dragging them
                     around in public.

                     14. It's OK and even encouraged to tattoo your Dog

                     13. The older a Dog gets, the more they like you.

                     12. Dogs don't ask why. Dogs don't ask why. Dogs don't ask why.

                     11. Dogs don't roll their eyes when you insist Dogs today have it easier.

                     10. Dogs stick their tongue deep inside your ear canal; children use a
                     pencil.

                     9. Dogs don't jump on the bed; they just quietly shed in them and lay on
                     you, considerately adding to your warmth.

                     8. Dog markings are easier to get off the wall than crayon.

                     7. When Dogs don't listen to you, it is because they cannot understand the
                     complex human language.

                     6. Dogs have tails, making it easier to grab them as they run away.

                     5. No one passes you a Dog with a loaded diaper.

                     4. Dogs dig for buried treasure in the litterbox. Kids won't even dump the
                     litterbox.

                     3. When Dogs interrupt you making love, you don't have to explain that the
                     two of you are "wrestling to see who does the dishes."

                     2. Dogs don't grow out of their shoes every 2 1/2 months

                                   And the number one reason?

                     1. Dogs, when entering those teen years, are neutered.