A cook, a groomer, a stooge to throw sticks,
And a nurse to care for his ills.
A fan to applaud, and reward him for tricks,
And a sucker to pay all the bills.
Yes, my dog leads the life of a millionaire,
While his servants, who seldom are free,
Live the life of a dog, and to this I can swear,
Because ALL his servants are ME!!
- Never had to fix liver for anything.
- Lived in the city, had extra money, and thought I was insane.
- Bought clothes for myself instead of dog shows.
- Thought a tie was something a man wore around his neck.
- Didn't own a pooper scooper, grooming table, 5 crates, or 4 exercise
pens.
- Thought a professional handler was an agent for a fighter.
- Thought a major was an officer in the Army.
- Never told my kids to sit and stay.
- Would come home from a party at 4 am, not leave for a dog show
then.
- Never worried about parasites or kennel cough.
- Never owed a Vet a dime.
- Had furniture without dog hair on it.
- Didn't worry about dog shows or whelping calendars.
- Had long hair and time to groom it.
- Thought "in season" referred to the latest fashion.
- Thought 'bitch' was a swear word.
- Didn't worry if my skirts had pockets.
- Thought bait was used for fishing.
- Thought politics took place only in Washington.
- Thought a match was something used to light a fire.
- Had a phone bill I could afford.
- Thought if someone was "finished", he was six feet under.