When dad says to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two dogs in the way.
 

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.  The other dishes are mine and contain my food.  Please note, placing a pawprint in the middle of dad's plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor does dad find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
 

The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack.  Beating dad to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping dad doesn't help, because dad falls faster than you can run.

Dad can not buy anything bigger than a king size bed.  He is very sorry about this.
Do not think dad will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a ball.  It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.  Dad also knows that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but doggy sarcasm.

When dad is playing the pinball machine, jumping up and trying to grab the ball through the glass is not helpful.  Barking at dad because he's not helping you achieve your goal does not win you any extra brownie points.

Dad's compact discs are not miniature frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.  If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not neccessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.  Dad must exit through the same door he entered.   In addition, dad has been using bathrooms for years, canine attendence is not mandatory.
 

The proper order is kiss dad, go smell other dogs butt.  Dad can not stress this enough.  It would be such a simple change for you guys to make.

-Written by Gary Brewer to his GSD's Midnight and Nikita

On the morning of September 11, 2001, there was an unprecedented amount of activity at the Rainbow Bridge. Decisions had to be made. They had to be made quickly. And, they were.

An issue, not often addressed here, is the fact that many residents really have no loved one for whom to wait. Think of the pups who lived and died in hideous puppy mills. No one on earth loved or protected them. What about the many who spent unhappy lives tied in backyards? And, the ones who were abused. Who are they to wait for?

We don't talk about that much up here. We share our loved ones as they arrive, happy to do so. But we all know there is nothing like having your very own person who thinks you are the most special pup in the Heavens.

Last Tuesday morning a request rang out for pups not waiting for specific persons to volunteer for special assignment... An eager, curious crowd surged excitedly forward, each pup wondering what the assignment would be.

They were told by a solemn voice that unexpectedly, all at once, over 4,000 loving people had left Earth long before they were
ready.

All the pups, as all pups do, felt the humans' pain deep in their own hearts. Without hearing more, there was a clamoring among
them - "May I have one to comfort?" "I'll take two, I have a big heart." "I have been saving kisses forever."

One after another they came forward begging for assignment. One cozy-looking fluffy pup hesitantly asked, "Are there any
children coming? I would be very comforting for a child 'cause I'm soft and squishy and I always wanted to be hugged." A group of Dalmatians came forward asking to meet the Firemen and be their friends. The larger working breeds offered to greet the Police Officers and make them feel at home.

Little dogs volunteered to do what they do best, cuddle and kiss. Dogs who on Earth had never had a kind word or a pat on the head, stepped forward and said, "I will love any human who needs love."

Then all the dogs, wherever on Earth they originally came from, rushed to the Rainbow Bridge and stood waiting, overflowing with love to share - each tail wagging an American Flag.